Inner Discipline vs. Outer Discipline

Teaching our kids to joyfully care for themselves without the extra baggage of our imposed disciplines that may even be good for us and yet the way they are imposed can actually block us from them. Teaching kids through the Transparenting concepts, we lead from the back and cultivate by getting out of the way, while still showing them support is always there, if needed.

Cultivation of inner discipline rather than outer discipline is what makes the difference between a joyful obedient child and a confused one that either acts like a victim or a rebel or both at different times.
Using the sensitivity of the victim and the yearning for fairness of the rebel we can teach our own inner child as well as those we care for how to become the hero and overcome obstacles that everyday life puts in front of us. This is the key to a person who is resilient enough to make the best out of whatever happens.

THIS HAPPENS BY:

Allowing every kid to be a Peacelder through seeing that in them from the very start.
And through cultivating these principles in those we care for first -
through cultivating them in ourselves.

We naturally grow towards upgrades of what works better when we are taught this way. Our intuition and Spirit's guidance leads us to what is best. Only when disciplining methods have been humiliating or confusing us as to what is best for us.. do we begin to make bad choices. Rewarding our selves with addictions to harmful things such as: drinking, smoking, drugs, eating junk foods (or just too much or both)
and/or continually getting in non-supportive relationships.

Learning to rewards ourselves with things that are good for us
is the main essence of all healing processes.
Once this adjustment is made, everything else falls in place.

These basic security issues are why so many siblings don't get along.. as well as,
having kids be too close in age and not giving each their much needed babyhood,
not giving equal responsibilities& privileges to each one fairly
and/or comparing each of them to each other.

Transparenting concept do challenge how many of us have been raised.

For instance:
spoiling children by giving them things while ignoring their real needs vs. interdependence & healthy negotiations that include how they can reasonably earn what they would like while getting what they need.

tough love vs. keeping the connection & healing any disconnects as they happen with loving honest communication that focuses on the relationship, not you or them. Remember, that all bad behavior has good reasons and is usually
"a cry for help".
This is why disconnects (through mostly telling them how bad the action was or worse yet how bad they are because of it) only makes it worse.
We are not our behaviors.

(FYI: Tom Cruise's Mom used to take him to the mirror if he did something really "wrong" and asked him to ask himself
"Why would you do such a thing to yourself?")

saying "no" a lot vs. creating kid friendly environments & lovingly re-directing (And especially in an honest way that doesn't feel manipulative to them)

telling kids what they "have to" do
(outer discipline) vs. cultivating follow through skills
(self-discipline) joyfully through example

Poem: Children Learn What They Live