Redirecting Interdependent Children

Redirecting Children's Behavior (Discipline that builds Self-Esteem) by Kathryn J. Kvols is a wonderful book that embraces a method of leading children to good behavior in an empowering way. I discovered it after I created the Transparenting concepts - only to find how much they were alike. However, I found that Re-directing can seem very manipulative to some children if it's not done with the feeling that they do know what's best for them deep inside and that they are not their behaviors. So much like any good method, it's more in the energy in which it's done and the depth of understanding with which it is used by the parent or caregiver. If emphasis is put on the fact that interesting things everywhere we can redirect to something that is safer and still keep the integrity of our connection - we need to really be interested in the new thing that we direct them to. Most importantly though- is that we enjoy sharing our time with them & do so often. That way, upgrades happen naturally towards healthy behaviors and choices, through our example.

Sharing the joys of life with our children comes from allowing our intuitions, as well as theirs, interdependently, to lead our relationship together. Through focusing on our spiritual growth, we inspire them to do the same. Redirecting is about a loving guidance that through wisdom acknowledges the infinite abundance of all things, especially love and that love is most important. This kind of connection, is what keeps it from feeling somewhat manipulative.

Teaching them to do what's best for themselves only comes when we:
1)appreciate their "specialness"
2) continually offer our experience without making them feel judged
for choices that don't "work" ("everyone needs to learn this..." type statements)
3) always making sure to consider their feelings, and teach them to do the same, in the process (we call this "Checking - In")
4) Teaching them to upgrade what they are attracted to -
into the highest quality of what's possible.